J8: Life after Barmitzvah

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Nearly every Jew has one, but why? Are you really an "adult" the day after your Bar/Bat-Mitzvah (BM)? Is it just an excuse for a party or is there something more? Find out how BM is the ticket to the ride of your life...

Introduction

Remember the pre-BM dread and post-BM relief? While your parents wanted you to look the part and do the family proud, you were worried about singing in tune, getting your speech right and not making complete a fool of yourself. That day is invariably the most traumatic moment of a young Jewish person's life. The real question is: what did it have to do with YOU? After you've written all the "Thank you" cards, what's left? Your BM is supposed to be a new beginning, but for most of us it feels like the end. What went wrong?

Think back to your BM and ask yourself these questions: What difference did it make? How have you changed since then? Does that memorable day impact on your life today? Does what you thought back then ever enter your thoughts now? After some factual and amusing preliminaries, we'll get back to the thoughtful stuff...

Just the Facts

A Jewish girl is "Bat-Mitzvah" on her 12th birthday, while a Jewish boy is "Bar-Mitzvah" on his 13th birthday. Birth dates here refer to the Jewish calendar. Literally, "Bar" = son of, "Bat" = daughter of and "Mitzvah" = Commandment. So the phrase means 'a child of the Commandment', i.e. you are now of the age where the Commandment (Jewish Law) applies to you. Until now your parents took responsibility for your mistakes, from now on - you do. Until now you didn't really have to keep Jewish Law and whatever you did do was practise and preparation for becoming BM, when you are commanded to. Keeping Shabbat, eating Kosher, fasting on Yom Kippur, and all the rest - however you do them - are only obligatory after your 12/13th Jewish birthday. From that day you are responsible for your Jewishness. What rituals do you have to do to get BMed? None at all! Zilch. Living through the calendar date is enough. It's a biological fact of Jewish life.

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